Dear New Parents,
Congratulations on your brand-new, tiny bundle of joy. I know you're all euphoric and full of endorphins and crazy hormones and can't see it, but your baby is not cute. Right now, five minutes after its expulsion from the womb, it looks like a red, shriveled lizard-monster covered in goo. It's not your fault, they all come out that way. Give it about two weeks. Once it's cleaned up, clothed, and out of hospital lighting, people will be lining up to see pictures of your adorable little munchkin. But for now, put your camera phones away*; just because you can instantly upload photos to the internet doesn't mean you should.
Sincerely,
Alex (on behalf of all of your Facebook friends)
*Also, you're in a hospital, shouldn't your phone be turned off?
Yes. And why does everyone say "(s)he looks just like you!" to the parents when the baby looks like a lizard? Kind of insulting to the parents, you know?
ReplyDeleteOk, this may come off as really obnoxious, but I used to agree with you. (here comes the obnoxious part) But now that I have a baby, I don't mind the immediate hospital pics. Now, I still don't love the bloody shots, but after they're swaddled and their squished, little pink faces are snoozing...there's nothing sweeter. Perhaps I'm a little biased though because I had/have the most beautiful baby in the world. :P
ReplyDeleteHowever, your baby somehow escaped the ugly newborn phase. Seriously, when I saw the pictures, I was like, "wow, that's the least weird-looking newborn I've ever seen."
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