|Can you blame me?|
However, my quick wit, though one of my strongest selling points, has an unfortunate side effect: when I am feeling angry or defensive, I have the capacity to be incredibly cruel. I find exactly the right weapon and whittle it down to a true and unforgiving point. Most often, I am the sole victim of my own cruelty, but I know that other people have experienced it as well. If my cruel self were a character in a movie, she would be considered hilariously well-written, but in reality, she is ugly and I nearly hate her. I am glad that I had recently seen The Avengers, because I know that this is how Bruce Banner felt about The Hulk, to have this monster inside of him that he must do everything in his power to control.
Yesterday I had the opportunity to be invited somewhere, and the person who invited me understood that I might not want to go. And I didn't. Not because it would be uncomfortable or painful (although it would be), but because I knew there would be a strong chance that The Hulk would come out, and I certainly didn't want people who were just on the cusp of becoming my friends to see that person.
So my question to all of you is this: what can I do, short of moving to some remote village in India where I will never ever feel provoked (isn't that what he did in The Avengers? I missed the beginning of the movie), to deal with unpleasant people/situations without my absolute worst self coming out? If I can figure out how to alleviate this, something good will have come out of my Hulk revelation (in addition to a dream about making out with Mark Ruffalo, that is).