I'm getting impatient again. I do this a lot. I feel like there's a big thing ahead of me, an obstacle, something that I can't--but need to--get past. But I don't want to get past it--I just want to be past it. I want to fast-forward and skip ahead to the time where it's over and I'm better, or new, or different in some way.
I'm going to New York City this weekend. I've never been before, so I'm a little nervous. This isn't a kind of thing that I do, just hop on a bus and go to some strange city with some guy I barely know.* But I'm excited, almost to the sense of urgency and impatience, not to go, but to come back a different person. Someone wild, uninhibited, full of perspective, experienced...
I've been using West Side Story as a soundtrack to this feeling of anticipation. I don't think the lyrics necessarily fit my feelings perfectly, but the music is stirring my desire for change, my desire to let go of the parts of myself that I no longer need or want, and to return as the person I want to become.
Mock me for using the "Glee" version if you like, but this one has more energy than the film version.
And Darren Criss is just so cute.
*Okay, it's not actually some guy I barely know. It's actually someone I know quite well and would trust completely to protect me against scary New York pigeons and well-choreographed street gangs. But "some guy I barely know" just sounds cooler and like I'm doing something much more dramatically uninhibited.