Attached is the schedule whereupon I outline how I will be spending every minute of my next two weeks. I hope to now address some of the questions and concerns you may have upon reading it.
- This schedule is not an accurate representation of my social life. This is a complete anomaly. I have literally never been so socially in-demand in my whole life. It's as if the end of neuroscience was a supra-threshold depolarization and activities are rushing into my life like little sodium ions.* In about two weeks (coincidentally, the time after which you no longer care how I'm spending every minute of my days), things will repolarize and I will go back to sitting around in my pajamas surrounded by books like the proper student you assumed I was when you admitted me to this program.
- Yes, I actually do get into my pajamas and go to bed that early. I'm not sure if you really wanted to know what time I put on my pajamas, but I was hoping to be thorough.
- The pie I mentioned baking will be a cinnamon pie. It is delicious and I can certainly bring one in should that make a difference in my grade in this course.
I hope this clears things up. I am actually grateful for this assignment because it means I might actually go to the gym all of those times I said I was going to go to the gym.
[My name, which most of you already know, but I don't want it to be super-searchable]
*This analogy should demonstrate to you that I actually am a huge nerd with no social life and it's totally weird that I'm going to all of these parties and dinners and brunches and concerts and stuff.