I need a win. Desperately.
I need a snow day, but it doesn't snow here (stupid Hawaii).
I need a sick day, except for the first time in my generally frail and sniffly life, I am surprisingly healthy. And I have too many stupid morals to take a sick day when I'm not really sick. Does the fact that I haven't slept well since I got back from Boston count as a sickness?
I guess I could take a "mental health day." I have been feeling lately like I'm going crazy.
The not knowing what I'm doing with my life is driving me particularly crazy. I've been accepted to three graduate programs so far, and of those three I have an idea of which one I'm going to choose. I'm still waiting to hear from my top two choices, though, which makes it really hard for me to get excited about that one. I feel that at this point I'm waiting for one of them to tell me "no," and for the other one, I'm waiting for an interview to be scheduled. I hate that it's mid-March and I don't know where I'm going yet. I hate not having a finite plan, or a future to get excited about.
Another thing that just hit me is that, for the last two months that I'll be here, my rent will be essentially doubling (don't ask). I don't want to move, and I doubt that I'll be able to find someone to live with me (or who would want to live with me...because apparently people don't) for only two months. At least it's only for two months, and the amount of extra rent that I'll be paying very closely resembles the amount that is my tax refund...so there's that.
And Daylight Savings Time happened this Sunday. Did it come early this year? I know it's the same time difference that it was when I first moved here, but I got so used to the five hours in the "winter." Now it just feels like everyone I love moved 1000 miles farther away from me. And my talking-to-my-mom-on-the-phone schedule is all messed up and we haven't talked sufficiently in days and I miss it. Yes, I'm a grown woman and I miss talking to my mommy.
So I need a win. I need a magical trip to Europe (that will never happen). I need a long drive through New England while Florence and the Machine and Jump Little Children are blasting from the CD player. I need a letter from my dream school (even if I don't know which one that is yet) saying that they'd be ecstatic to have me. I need a hug from one of the only few people authorized to hug me.
I need something to sing about.
I have to comment that living with you made up 3 of the most hilarious years of my life. Anyone who doesn't want to live with you is stupid and has zero sense of fun, and you wouldn't want to live with them anyway.
ReplyDeletePlus why is it your responsibility to make up the rent difference if your roomie moves? Wouldn't it be up to them to either sell their contract or the landlord to find a replacement? I don't think it's fair to dump that on you.
On a different note, did you know there's a new Robin Sparkles video out? I haven't seen it yet but if it's anything like the first 2 it should be epic.