Oh, [name withheld], how you terrify me.
If I had a Boggart, it would look like you.
If I were choking to death on a grape, and you were the only person who could give me the Heimlich maneuver, I would die pacing back and forth in front of your office working up the courage to go in.
No, I wouldn't.
I would die at my desk crafting a meticulously polite email asking you if you wouldn't possibly mind saving my life if you had a spare moment and if it wasn't too much of a bother.
And I cited your paper in my thesis.
Riddikulus.
*Because it would be not professional to use his name in a blog post. Also, I'm afraid if I type it three times, he might magically appear. Like Beetlejuice.
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