Musings from the Office: The Final Chapter

My first attempt at the whole webcam picture thing.  Also, for you all to see how much effort I put into my appearance when I go to work (sarcastic face).

It's finally arrived:  my last day at the office!  I can only hope that I will never have to make other people's coffee or take other people's phone calls ever again.  Nor will I have to deal with the lady who's always asking me to fill up the paper trays (as if I'm some negligent oaf who never keeps track of them) or asked me, "you do know how to fill out a check, right?" (no...I've been paying my rent in gold doubloons for the past seven years) and assuming because I'm the receptionist that I have no other skills.  Well, guess what everyone, this grown-up with a Master's Degree in Forensic Anthropology is moving on to a well-paying job in her field in---wait for it---Hawaii!

People at work never believe me when I tell them I'm moving to Hawaii.  Does nobody actually live there?  Is it just a vacation land or a commonly-held fantasy of office drones ("one of these days, Sam, I tell you, I'm just gonna up and move to Honolulu")?  Is it so inconceivable that the barely-visible girl at the front desk who makes the coffee and transfers the calls could actually be getting paid to live there?

Per tradition, here are my final office musings:

• I make it a point to learn something from every job I have, no matter how much the job sucks.  At this job I learned how to talk on the phone without mumbling, stammering, or wanting desperately to hang up and put myself out of the misery of talking to a piece of plastic in my hand.
• Being the "barely visible" receptionist has its perks:  I can be privy to all of the gossip/office chatter that nobody assumes I can hear because it's not the sound of a ringing phone or a fax signal.
• No other receptionist is ever going to be as awesome as I am, whether it be at fixing stuff, hunting down paper clips, or making sure all of the candy in the dish is neatly organized.  Sorry [name of company], I'm the best receptionist you'll never have again.  

I had a dream that they threw a going-away party for me with a cake filled with bacon and topped with sweet and sour sauce.  I'm glad that such a thing did not actually happen, though I did get a $50 Amazon gift card from the office manager, which I'm determined to spend 80% on something useful and probably 20% on music.