Internet Fame

I was talking to my friend today, who didn't know that I had a blog and then commented on the fact that he wants no part of his life to be on the Internet. I, however, have decided that the Internet and I are going to be friends, and have now crafted a scheme to pay off my student loans by becoming Internet-famous. Here are a few of my ideas:

1. Get married, have cute kids, and make this my "Mormon Mommy Blog" to get all sorts of sponsorships from Deseret Book, Down East Outfitters, and hotsaints.com (where you can chase and be chaste).
2. Make a music video of myself singing an insanely catchy song about what day of the week it is.
3. Post videos of myself singing other songs/performing in a musical and get a recurring guest spot on "Glee" in which I sing all the solos and take part in a tastefully-done makeout scene with Mike Chang's abs.
4. Have CBS launch a sitcom about my blog co-starring George Takei as the voiceover to all of my posts.
5. Make a Twitter account and tweet about nothing but Wheat Thins so that the Wheat Thins people will give me a lifetime supply of crackers so I can spend all of my grocery money on paying back my loans. Or maybe do the same thing with UBurger so I can get some protein in there.
6. Blog about how much I hate a certain actor, get sued by said actor, countersue with Laura Taylor as my lawyer, win, get all of said actor's money, and then write a book about how said actor didn't "win" this time.
7. Wait until Laura Taylor becomes a super rich and successful lawyer and have her pay me advertising fees every time I mention her in my blog. The same goes for Lindsay Sorenson when she becomes a famous YA historical fiction novelist.

Any other ideas?