Last Hawaiian Restaurant Review: The Counter

Served with the most amazing sweet potato fries (not pictured)

On the suggestion of a friend who I wish I'd gotten to know well enough to miss, I went to The Counter in Kahala Mall with some other friends who fall into the same category as a farewell dinner of sorts.  The Counter is a "build your own burger" type of place with a multiple-choice sheet that was super intimidating, even to one who is so awesome at standardized tests.  The options for what to get were very wild; had I been able to go a second time, I would have tried brie and apricot jam, but in the nature of objectivity and normalization, I went traditional (except I got scallions in lieu of regular onions).  Here's how this burger measured up:

• Structural Integrity:  A.  It stayed together, and the scallions didn't even fall off!
• Burger-to-Bun Ratio:  A-.  Generally okay, though I was left with a bit more burger at the end.
• Topping Quality and Distribution:  N/A.  You can get pretty much whatever you want on this burger, and they give you a decent amount of it.
• Burger Patty:  B+.  It was good, but their interpretation of "medium-well" was definitely much closer to "medium."  I don't love my burgers too pink, but I didn't get sick after, so it was fine.  
• Fries:  A+.  These were probably the best sweet potato fries I've ever had.  Crispy on the outside, soft on the inside, and served with this sauce that I don't even know what it was (there was definitely some dijon in there) but it was AMAZING.  I wish I had either ordered a bigger plate of them (they're not included in the cost of the burger) or not offered to share.
• Overall:  A.  I might have liked this more than Teddy's, though it was more expensive.

The service was good.  The only thing I very much disliked is that there was a live musician playing.*  He was too loud for the small space and I couldn't hear half of the conversations.  Also, deciding what to order of a million options is stressful enough without some acoustic rendition of a Katy Perry song blasting behind you.  They also sold desserts and milkshakes, but I can't believe that any milkshake could have been good enough to be worth six dollars.  That milkshake would have to bring all of the boys and all of the men and the fracking Queen of England to the yard.

*As opposed to a dead one, which would have been terribly interesting.

Stay Tuned

In case you were wondering why I hadn't blogged about being back in Boston yet, don't worry, it'll happen soon.  I've got lots of thoughts swirling around in this jet-lagged brain of mine, and they'll organize themselves eventually.  Until then, I sit up late eating Fiber One Honey Clusters because I can't fall asleep.

Alternatively...

If Europe isn't your thing,

One Week

Find someone to pick me up from the Logan Airport:  Check.

Find a place to stay before I can move into my summer sublet:  Check

Out-process from work:  Half-check

Finish packing and sending stuff:  Probably should start thinking about it.

Like my time in Hawaii, my to-do list is getting shorter.

Restaurant Review: Cheeseburger in Paradise

The pineapple wedge is a nice touch.  Scurvy prevention with a side of burger.

I'm wrapping up my search for the best burger in Honolulu as I am leaving quite soon!  I was in Waikiki buying a hard case for my ukulele and decided to eat at Cheeseburger in Paradise, right across from the beach.  I was going to go to Cheeseburger Waikiki, but it was farther away and it's owned by the same people so I'm guessing it's the same thing.  I had heard good things about it, so I was pretty excited, probably too excited.  First of all, like most things Waikiki, it's very tourist-friendly.  Lots of gimmicky Hawaiian things to cater to the Jimmy Buffet crowd.  I don't mind touristy if the food is good, however.  I can't say I was huge fan of the service.  It was a busy Saturday evening, I'll grant them, but it took quite a while for my server to get my order.  May I just say how much I dislike when servers call you "sweetheart" (or "doll" or "love", etc.)?  If I'm at a crusty old diner and there's a matronly woman named Flo taking my order, she can call me "sweetheart," but some blonde, tattooed early-twentysomething named Holly can keep the pet names to herself.  Maybe I'm "overly sensitive" but I find it slightly condescending.  I can't be too angry, however, as she did keep the Diet Cokes coming.  I ordered the basic cheeseburger and a side of sweet potato fries.  Here's how the burger fared in my grading rubric (that maybe I've only used once):

• Structural Integrity:  A.  The whole thing stayed together and only a few lettuce bits fell out.  They call it a "five-napkin burger," and I was worried when I was only given two, but it was much less messy than I'd expected.
• Burger-to-Bun Ratio:  A.  Probably the best B:B ratio that I've seen!  One thing I'll note is that they used one of those "Hawaiian" buns which is a bit denser than a normal bun, which probably also contributed to the structural integrity.
• Topping Quality/Distribution:  C+.  Lettuce, one poor little tomato slice, and some onions that were all stuck together.  Where the frack were the pickles?  I missed pickles the most.  I don't even think you could request them extra on the menu.  The cheese was good, but the sauce wasn't plentiful enough to make the burger moist and flavorful.
• Burger Patty:  C.  Meh...it was okay.  It was cooked medium-well, which combined with the Hawaiian bun and the lack of condiments made the whole thing rather dry.  The flavor was decent, however.  
• Fries:  A.  Sweet potato waffle fries are a terrific creation.  They were perfectly seasoned and crispy.
• Overall:  B-.  It was fine, but not really worth the $20 I paid (after tipping Holly), especially when I could have gone to Teddy's just down the street and gotten essentially the same thing much more quickly and for half the price.  

If I could do it all over again...

I often have little moments of regret.  Maybe not 'regret' in the purest sense, but more in the "here's what I would do differently if I could start over again" sense.  So on this day, for no specific reason (even though this very day, the sixth of June, has rightfully earned reasons for me to want to look back and reassess), I present a list of things I would do differently if I had to start the whole Hawaii thing from scratch.

• Don't ship all of my books to Hawaii.  I mean, I would have taken some books (how could I survive without a copy of East of Eden at my side?), but not all of my enormous heavy ones.  I thought, "oh, I'll need all these textbooks!" but I didn't realize that the lab would include a giant library that would have all of the same books and I wouldn't need to touch the ones in my personal library.  I could have stored them and saved the hassle of shipping them back and forth.
• Live somewhere different.  Like in my current building which is so much more awesome than my old building.  Maybe this one couldn't have been helped, as I moved out here the weekend before starting my job and I just took the first place that was offered me.
• Buy a pedometer.  I walked so freaking much this year; it would have been nice to keep track of exactly how much.  I'll walk a lot in Boston, though, so maybe I'll get one there.
• Become friends with this awesome couple in my branch sooner.  Normally I don't hang out with couples because most couples are lame, but then quite recently I spent time with these two, both separately and together, and I was like, why haven't I been hanging out with you guys this whole time?  They're really cool, and, unlike 99% of people in Hawaii, they like some of the same music that I do!
• Go kayaking earlier, because I like kayaking!  Actually, I'm okay with just going kayaking the one time.  I got a pretty bad sunburn from the kayaking trip, but it's only the second bad burn I've had here.  More kayaking would have probably meant more sunburns and a higher risk of melanoma.  So never mind on this one.  And there's a river in Boston; I can totally kayak there maybe.

I know I could think of more things, but I'm pretty sure that they're little things, like knowing where to buy the good curry paste and stuff.  But did you notice how not one of these things was "don't move to Hawaii"? Even though I shattered various aspects of my world by moving here, and even though there was much about this year that sucked beyond the telling of it, if I had to do it all again, I would.  This year has been very good for me.

Cat Lady

"Kirk's always been a cat person; he's just never had a cat"
-Rory Gilmore (Gilmore Girls, "A Deep-Fried Korean Thanksgiving")

I live with a cat now.  His name is S.J., short for Simba Jack.  I'm fighting my horrible habit of renaming other people's pets, but I kind of want to call him Darwin.  He used to be wary of me, but we've bonded now.  See?

Not the most flattering picture of either of us, but it's hard to tell a cat to hold still so I can take a webcam picture.

He likes to snuggle.  And also use my arm as a scratching post.  And lick my feet.  Maybe it's not bonding so much as him biding his time until he tries to kill and eat me in my sleep.