Restaurant Review: Cheeseburger in Paradise

The pineapple wedge is a nice touch.  Scurvy prevention with a side of burger.

I'm wrapping up my search for the best burger in Honolulu as I am leaving quite soon!  I was in Waikiki buying a hard case for my ukulele and decided to eat at Cheeseburger in Paradise, right across from the beach.  I was going to go to Cheeseburger Waikiki, but it was farther away and it's owned by the same people so I'm guessing it's the same thing.  I had heard good things about it, so I was pretty excited, probably too excited.  First of all, like most things Waikiki, it's very tourist-friendly.  Lots of gimmicky Hawaiian things to cater to the Jimmy Buffet crowd.  I don't mind touristy if the food is good, however.  I can't say I was huge fan of the service.  It was a busy Saturday evening, I'll grant them, but it took quite a while for my server to get my order.  May I just say how much I dislike when servers call you "sweetheart" (or "doll" or "love", etc.)?  If I'm at a crusty old diner and there's a matronly woman named Flo taking my order, she can call me "sweetheart," but some blonde, tattooed early-twentysomething named Holly can keep the pet names to herself.  Maybe I'm "overly sensitive" but I find it slightly condescending.  I can't be too angry, however, as she did keep the Diet Cokes coming.  I ordered the basic cheeseburger and a side of sweet potato fries.  Here's how the burger fared in my grading rubric (that maybe I've only used once):

• Structural Integrity:  A.  The whole thing stayed together and only a few lettuce bits fell out.  They call it a "five-napkin burger," and I was worried when I was only given two, but it was much less messy than I'd expected.
• Burger-to-Bun Ratio:  A.  Probably the best B:B ratio that I've seen!  One thing I'll note is that they used one of those "Hawaiian" buns which is a bit denser than a normal bun, which probably also contributed to the structural integrity.
• Topping Quality/Distribution:  C+.  Lettuce, one poor little tomato slice, and some onions that were all stuck together.  Where the frack were the pickles?  I missed pickles the most.  I don't even think you could request them extra on the menu.  The cheese was good, but the sauce wasn't plentiful enough to make the burger moist and flavorful.
• Burger Patty:  C.  Meh...it was okay.  It was cooked medium-well, which combined with the Hawaiian bun and the lack of condiments made the whole thing rather dry.  The flavor was decent, however.  
• Fries:  A.  Sweet potato waffle fries are a terrific creation.  They were perfectly seasoned and crispy.
• Overall:  B-.  It was fine, but not really worth the $20 I paid (after tipping Holly), especially when I could have gone to Teddy's just down the street and gotten essentially the same thing much more quickly and for half the price.