Anatomical Nomenclature

People name anatomical features after themselves all the time, so why not name people after anatomical features?  Should I marry an anatomist who will permit me to do so, here are the anatomical names I would give to our children.

Boys' names:

• Olecranon (This is my favorite of all names.  I might actually give my son this middle name.)
• Peroneus (His grandson could be named Peroneus tertius!)
• Anconeus
• Hallux
• Talus
• Soleus

Girls' names:

• Calyx
• Piriformis ("Piri" for short.)
• Carina
• Trigone
• Amygdala
• Nephron*

These are the only acceptable ones I can think of at the moment.  There are names that I wouldn't ever give any child, no matter how ugly it was, like "Salpinx," "Urethra," "Ulna," "Uvula," "Fornix," or "Epididymis."

*Also an abbreviation for the late Nora Ephron, may she rest in peace.

P is for Pelvis

We're doing the TAP section of Anatomy right now.  For those not in the know, TAP means "Thorax, Abdomen, and Pelvis," which includes the reproductive organs.  And of course, since we're a room full of adults who are going to be health professionals, we all handle these lectures with utmost maturity.

We had a lecture about endometriosis and menstrual cramps and how the ovaries grow to be twice their size during ovulation and the ladies are like,

But then we talk about erectile dysfunction and then the men are all like,

Because normally they're all,

But then we dissect, and everyone is like,

Gastroepiploetry

10:00 am in the library

All is silent and still without

But within, there is rebellion

My stomach, unfulfilled by 6:00 am oatmeal

Cries out against the silence

Singing the song of the hungry for all to hear

The sound echoes across the rugae

And through my relatively thin abdominal wall

Unsoftened by Camper's fascia

It screams all the way to Baltimore

Begging Laura's stomach to join in the chorus

My Life as of Late, in "Buffy" Quotes

I've been spending a lot of time in the anatomy lab.

Spike:  Why don't you rip her lungs out?  That might make an impression
Angel:  Lacks... poetry.
Spike:  Doesn't have to.  What rhymes with "lungs?"

My birthday is coming up.

Buffy:  Maybe it's time to start a new tradition:  birthdays without boyfriends.  It can be just as fun.
Willow:  Preachin' to the choir, here, baby. 

Sometimes I feel like I'm the villain in the story.

Spike:  And you're what?  Shocked and disappointed?  I'm evil! 

And finally...

How I feel that (cough--Mormon--cough) society views my quest for a PhD despite my waning fertility:

Anya might be my favorite.

When people tell me I need to kick back and "let go"...

I'm like...

Patterns Part Three

(The third installment of my ward campout post-game series.  Read Parts 1 and 2.)

The Tri-ward Campout was this past weekend, and even now, on Monday morning as I type this, I can't decide whether or not it was a good thing that I went.  It probably depends on who you ask; if you ask me, I probably shouldn't have gone.

I wasn't going to go.  Up until Friday afternoon, I was 95% sure I was going to stay home, sleep in my own warm bed, and not worry about seeing people who provoke my cry/vomit/murder reflex.*  One of the main reasons I didn't want to go was that I didn't have the same reason to go that I did in past years; in 2010 and 2011 the only reason that I showed up was to be in the skit, and for some reason, I couldn't make myself feel excited about performing this year like I did in the past.  This was quite depressing.  Even more depressing was the fact that I ended up not performing at all that night, but since I neither play acoustic guitar nor moonwalk, I would have had nothing to please the crowd.**

After feeling miserable during the majority of the performance segment of the campout, I decided that I'm just not capable of having more than 24 consecutive hours of fun--there's an expiration date.  The before-sunset part actually didn't suck very much at all!  Here are some highlights:

• I took out a rowboat, but unlike last time, I was not alone!  It's quite nice to have a handsome man to row you around...or to mock you as you attempt to row the both of you around.  I'm not great at rowing, guys.

  

  I look like I'm doing a whole lot better than I actually am.
  In my defense, one of the oxen thingies was wonky.

• It wasn't freezing!  This was one of my other reservations, that it would be freezing and I would get a cold (again).  But it wasn't!  My new sleeping bag kept me very warm in the night, and in the day it was warm enough to even tempt me to go swimming in the lake (but I didn't, primarily because I had no swimsuit and only one bra).
• The mandatory group activities weren't awful, nor were they mandatory enough to keep me from sneaking off and having my own fun (or go back to my cabin and brush my teeth, as the case may be).

After reading all of this, you might wonder, so why do you think you shouldn't have gone?  Maybe it's because I'm self-centered and weird.***  The last time I lived in Boston, before I left, I was kind of on top of the world.  I felt finally as if I had arrived, had become what I was supposed to be.  I had friends, status, a reputation (that wasn't built solely upon one very specific aspect of my life).  Then I moved away for a year, and now that I'm back, I feel like I have to start all over again from the bottom.  I not only have to figure out who I am, but I also have to convince the rest of the world (stake) that I'm that person.  And that's hard.  It's even harder when you're in the middle of the wilderness surrounded by people who are having much more fun than you are.

I guess what can come out of all this is that I can try to make next year's campout (because I'm going to go again because I'm a masochist who doesn't learn her lessons) a little bit better.  Maybe I'll turn into the person who is more than what she seems.

*Don't worry, I don't actually have a "murder" reflex, but murder is probably less embarrassing than crying or vomiting in public.
**Plus, it would have been hard to deliver a showstopping number while experiencing all of the aforementioned reflexes.
***But who isn't?

That Old Feeling

Right now, I'm sitting on my couch all by myself in my living room and I'm wearing a sweater and tights and I'm still a little chilly next to the open window.  I breathe in and I smell the first molecules of Autumn in New England.  Next to me are my anatomy textbooks.  I should be studying because I have a midterm one week from Monday.  Instead, I'm blogging because I don't feel like I have a midterm one week from Monday.  Instead, I feel wonderful and blissful and content.  Fall is arriving.

I think Fall is here early this year.  Since I got back from Pennsylvania in the middle of July, there haven't been that many hot days.  Maybe the beach-goers complained about that, but I didn't.  This was Boston's welcome-home present to me after spending all of last year in a place where "fall" is just that thing that happens to you when you get knocked off your surfboard.  Halloween decorations are on the shelves at a lot of stores, and some places are already selling Christmas crap.*  Things are smelling like cinnamon and nutmeg and pumpkin spice.  And if you look closely enough, you can see the slightest hints of death on the leaves of the trees.  Beautiful death.**

My bliss is not exclusively a result of the autumnal air.  My house is pretty cool and I'm getting along well with my roommates.  One roommate and I are starting a tradition of "Saturday Morning Buffy and Doughnuts," which means that on Saturday mornings we watch BtVS and eat doughnuts (if that wasn't clear).  My other roommate and I went to the temple today.  I hadn't been since they changed that thing that they changed that you'd know about if you've been to the temple lately, and it was a great experience that allowed me to think of everything from a new perspective.  It was just so peaceful and heart-lightening.  I love the Boston Temple so much.  Afterwards we went to the cafeteria and got temple cookies, which were good, but I think they were over-hyped so I had unrealistic expectations.  Also they were out of Snickerdoodles, which I've heard are the best ones.  Finally (and maybe this is more of a life-update-post thing), I have a new significant man-type-person in my life.  Emphasis is on the "new," but it's going very well, and I'm happy.

Spending a year being miserable in Hawaii taught me to not take happiness for granted.  Maybe eating temple cookies and watching Buffy and having a boyfriend and enjoying the chill in the weather aren't earth-shattering things, but they're things that make me happy.  I am happy.  It's pretty great.

  

*Christmas merchandise is "crap" until the day after Thanksgiving.  Then it's allowed to be "stuff."  Know your place, holiday-paraphernalia, I mean, really.    

**So I'm morbid.  Deal with it.