UBurger is Better

I need to stop thinking there's something better out there.

They opened a new burger place, BurgerFi, next to where I go to the gym.  I was pretty excited, because, you know, burgers.

This is basically what happens.

I wanted to go right away with some of my friends, but we never got around to it, and then I found out that practically everyone I've ever met went there without me last week, so today I decided, screw it, I don't need anybody else, I'll go by myself!  Also, I felt an upper respiratory tract thing coming on this morning, and that always calls for grilled meat and deep-fried potatoes.

Honestly, I was a little disappointed in BurgerFi.  Here is my list of grievances:

1. It was kind of expensive.  I got basically the same thing I get at UBurger (cheeseburger, fries, Diet Coke), but it cost about $3 more.
2. The bun was soggy.  My good friend LT, while attending Harvard Law School, raved about this place called Flat Patties.  I never had the heart to tell her that I secretly called it "Soggy Buns" (although I guess I kind of just did).  There is only one acceptable circumstance for bread to be wet:  when it is Thanksgiving and it is stuffing and it is covered in gravy.  Hamburger buns should not be moist to the touch.
3. Too much cheese.  My cheese-loving friends will stand aghast at this one.  I get that a cheeseburger should have a noticeable amount of cheese on it, but at the end of the day, it's still a beef patty, and you should taste the beef more than you should taste the cheese.  The two slices of yellow American on this burger were overpowering (either that or the patty was just really bland, but that's not better).
4. Not enough other things.  I dislike burgers that don't come with pickles and onions by default.  Enough said.
5. The fry:burger ratio was too high.  Don't get me wrong, I love French fries.  They're my go-to vocal health food, but when I'm done with my burger, I don't want to spend another ten minutes finishing my fries as they get progressively colder and less tasty.

This might have seemed like a harsh review, but honestly, it was good.  It wasn't the worst burger I've ever eaten, by far (that honor goes to Grasshopper Cafe--sorry guys, your breakfasts are good, though!).  One redeeming quality is that they had one of those fancy Coke machines where you can add crazy flavors (I like to add a little cherry to my D.C. whenever I'm feeling particularly sinful).  They also have frozen custard on the menu, which would have tempted me had they not also put the calorie count on the menu.  

The sense that I get is that BurgerFi sets itself apart by offering alcohol and providing a trendy and socially-conscious (they don't let you get one step into the place before reminding you that everything is "green" and "all-natural") ambiance.  But I don't really care about alcohol or ambiance at a burger place.  I care about burgers.  So next time I'm in Allston, I'm going to go to UBurger, where the burgers have never been unkind to me.