Common Cents, or My Personal Circle of Hell

I read Dante's Inferno several years ago, probably in high school. It wasn't assigned or anything, but I felt I needed to read it. I don't really remember it very well, though I do remember there was a map. It looked like this:

Anyhow, I put this diagram up because I'm trying to figure out where I'll be going for this "sin" I'm committing right now. So I get the mail today and there's one of those packages of address labels as a "free gift" with your donation to the Paralyzed Veterans of America or whatnot. I'm not going to use the address labels because they have my Pennsylvania address on them, and I never send mail from there, and I never title myself with "Miss." The rub, however, is that they also sent me a nickel to include with my donation, because, as they say on the return envelope, "every nickel counts." Do you know what else the return envelope says? "Place postage here." That's right. They expect me to use a 44-cent stamp to send back their nickel. However, the fact that I find that completely unreasonable means that I'm probably going to go to hell.

At least it's not thirty pieces of silver.