My Grown-Up Christmas List

This is not a post about one of the cheesiest Christmas pop songs ever written.*  Instead, this is my grown-up Christmas list, i.e., a list of stuff that isn't the fun, exciting stuff that a kid would want (like a chemistry set or a box of microscopes or a pony).  Nor is it some cheesy Amy-Grant-esque list of things that my superego tells me that I should want (like world peace or a husband or normal serotonin levels in my brain).  I'm talking about actual stuff, here, people.  As in the stuff that is my response when my mom asks what I want for Christmas.  So here it is:

1. Black boots, to wear on days when I can't wear brown boots because mixing neutrals still scares me a little.  I have to pick these out when I go home because my feet and calves are finicky.  
2. A bathrobe, to minimize my walking-around-naked time.
3. Season one of Grimm on DVD.  This is one of those things that I have to order myself because the parents haven't figured out Amazon, but that they're going to pay for and wrap and give to me on Christmas Eve.  Also my plan is to watch it at home with my parents to convince my mom that Grimm is better than Once Upon a Time.  Because it is.  So much better.
4. Black and blue Sharpie pens.  These are the best black pens and the second-best blue pens, though others may disagree.  But let's all take a second to acknowledge the fact that I'm asking my parents for PENS this Christmas.  #nerdalert 



These are the pens.  They come in a crazy assortment of colors,
as you can see, but that's a little too much for me.
But they've revolutionized my note-taking.

Maybe this is a lame Christmas list, but it's interesting because this is the first time in a long time that I remember actually asking for things for Christmas because I like being self-sufficient and taking care of all my own temporal wants and needs, so this is quite a big step in humility for me.  Finally, just in case there's a Santa Claus, these are just the things I'd like my family members to get for me, and if an awesome herringbone tweed blazer or some funky statement jewelry just happened to show up under my tree, it wouldn't be the worst thing.


*My sister owns an Amy Grant CD; it makes me a tiny bit embarrassed to be related to her, but I can forgive it because it was the late nineties and it was among the first three CD's she ever got.

My Music, December 2013 Edition

I haven't done a "My Music" post in a while, I realized.  Also, this will be my 297th blog post, and I think it would be cool to get to 300 by the end of 2013.  So here are my current "Top 25 Most Played" on iTunes:

1. "C'est la Mort" - The Civil Wars
2. "Poison & Wine" - The Civil Wars
3. "Hold On" - Mary Beth Maziarz
4. "How" - Regina Spektor
5. "Thursday" - Asobi Seksu
6. "Organ Donor" - Jeremy Messersmith
7. "Snow Day" - Jeremy Messersmith
8. "Look At Me Now" - Karmin
9. "Elsewhere" - Sarah McLachlan
10. "Falling" - The Civil Wars
11. "I Want You Back" - The Civil Wars
12. "Anything Could Happen" - Ellie Goulding
13. "My Eyes" - Neil Patrick Harris and Felicia Day (from "Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog")
14. "Shake It Out" - Florence + the Machine
15. "21 Guns" - Original Broadway Cast of American Idiot
16. "The Call" - Regina Spektor
17. "Gravity" - Sarah Bareilles
18. "the zombie song" - Stephanie Mabey
19. "Skeleton Song" - Kate Nash
20. "Safer" - Krysta Rodriguez (from First Date:  The Musical)
21. "Timshel" - Mumford & Sons
22. "Promise Me This" - Pancho's Lament
23. "Homeward Bound" - BYU Singers and Concert Choir
24. "Explosions" - Ellie Goulding
25. "Falling Slowly" - Glen Hansard and Marketa Irglova (from Once)

Confession:  sometimes I wish I felt more morally okay about resetting some of the more listened-to pieces on here, especially since they're not things that I've wanted to listen to recently at all.

Also I like that I have a skeleton song and a zombie song right next to each other.  

My "Depressing" Blog

Sometimes I feel that my blog readers think that I'm like this:

Granted, sometimes this is what I actually am like when I blog.

And then they feel bad for me, or tell me to cheer up, or get over it, or whatever.  To them, I say this:

And some people acknowledge that, and to them I say, thank you, and keep on reading.  To those who don't say that, keep reading anyway.

Love you guys.

Fluffy Bunnies and Santa and Disneyland

My mother doesn't even read my blog, but she heard about it at a Thanksgiving dinner at our family friends' home.  I imagine it was kind of embarrassing for her to be surrounded by a zillion grandchildren who weren't hers when all she had to brag about was how her still-single daughter got an A in the class with all the dead bodies.  But anyway, she told me the following:

"I think it would be better if you had a positive blog instead of a depressing blog, even if it isn't true."

So, per my mother's request, here I go!  Feel free to listen to some Lesley Gore as you read.

I have never been happier in my whole life!  Coming back to Boston was absolutely the best decision I've ever made because I get to be around so many close and trusted friends who totally left room for me in their lives even though I disappeared for a year to focus on my career!  Sure, I'm single, but it's great because I really get to "work on me," because even though I've been alone for 27.4 of the 28 years of my life, I've still got a lot of finding myself to do!  And it's totally cool that I'm not having any babies, because who would want to spoil such a rockin' body as mine with a pregnancy?  Not this lady, let me tell you!  Life is totally worth living and love conquers all and Christmas is magical and also America!

Happy?

Why I Don't Want It to Snow

It snowed for a minute today, but just a minute.  It also did a similar thing a few weeks ago.  People got really excited, but I didn't.  I don't want it to snow yet.  I want the snow to wait, possibly for forever.  Here's why:

Anyone who knows me (in real life or on Facebook) knows that, for the past few months--basically since I've been back in Boston, I haven't had the best outlook on life.  And by "I haven't had the best outlook on life," I mean, "I'm no longer 100% convinced that life is worth living."*  Anyway, despite my better and more realistic judgement, I'm hoping this could change, and that maybe things will be better one day.  The thing is, however, that whenever a character has the realization that life is worth living after all, like in Its a Wonderful Life, or this song, or the Christmas episode of Buffy,** that miraculous moment (the "George Bailey Moment," I like to call it) is accompanied and enhanced by the first flakes of falling snow.***

I haven't had that moment yet, and right now, all the snow is going to do is remind me that I haven't, like a big, cold, crystalline slap in the face.  So snow clouds, until I have that moment, please just wait.

Also, this is so not real snow.

*This is just my life that I'm talking about.  I'm sure other people's lives are chock full of joy and meaning.

**This may be a faulty metaphor, because in Buffy, snow was the thing that convinced Angel not to kill himself, because apparently when it snows in Southern California the sun doesn't come out all day and vampires can just walk around without the fear of bursting into flames.

***And real life is totally, 100% like the movies.

Alt-Service Sunday: Friends Meeting at Cambridge

Some Alt-Service Sundays are a matter of convenience and happenstance.  Two of my friends invited me to attend a meeting with The Friends (aka The Society of Friends aka The Quakers) this morning, and since it was an hour before my regular sacrament meeting was scheduled and just across the lawn from where I normally have church, of course I was going to attend!

When the Longfellow Park Chapel burned down in 2009* the Quakers across the lawn were really great and helped throw us an open house when we were up and running again in 2011.  They're really nice people, and I'm glad I finally got to go to a service there.

Society of Friends Meetings are very interesting.  If you're Mormon, imagine them like a Testimony Meeting without the compulsion to fill the silence.  The meeting is 90% complete "worshipful silence," and Friends stand up and speak briefly when Spirit prompts them to.  It was actually really cool.  The meeting gave me time to meditate and write in my journal, and I had just completed a paragraph posing a rather depressing problem.  Not long after, someone stood up and said something that addressed the very same problem I had been pondering!  It was definitely a moment when I felt that the Spirit was there.

The following are quotes I wrote down from things that Friends said during the meeting that I found to be particularly inspirational:

"Be generous when you are hungry" 

and,

"Forgiveness and acceptance of what is opens the way to make what is, better."

So profound.

After the worship part, the meeting got very meeting-y with announcements and such, but this was generally a time to witness how Friendly (pun unavoidable) everyone was!  We introduced ourselves as visitors and lots of people came up to chat afterwards.  I don't think I could ever be a Quaker, as I'm nowhere near contemplative enough to sit and meditate every Sunday (and also I'm pretty set on the whole Mormon thing), but it was really great to learn about the Society of Friends.



*This was actually the very first time I ever went to Boston.  We were trying to go to church and kept getting rerouted by all the firetrucks.  Turned out church was where the fire was.

The Difference between Rock Concerts and Classical Concerts

As I mentioned last weekend, Kate Nash was my first non-classical concert ever (unless you count Trans-Siberian Orchestra's Christmas concert in SLC in 2008 or this outdoor music festival with the Spin Doctors that I went to in the Spring of 2012--but those were different kinds of things, I think).  I made some observations about the distinctions between the two types of events:

Punctuality

Classical Concert:  Be there 30 minutes early.  It's just good manners.

Rock Concert:  If you walk in halfway through the opening act, nobody even cares.

Pre-Concert

Rock Concert:  "Everybody make some noise!"

Classical Concert:  "Please turn off all audio alerts on cell phones, pagers, watches, and small children."

Applause

Rock Concert:  Everyone is basically cheering the entire time.

Classical Concert:  If you clap during the set the conductor will shank you with the baton s/he hasn't put down yet, you filthy, uncultured, philistine.  You should be ashamed of yourself.  

Libation

Classical Concert:  "Absolutely no food or drink in the auditorium (except for that cough drop which you should have opened before the music started)."

Rock Concert:  I don't know whose beer that was, but now it's on my shoe.

Upper Respiratory Tract Phenomena

Classical Concert:  If you cough, everyone will know, and they will hate you forever.

Rock Concert:  You could probably die where you stood and nobody would notice.

Concert Attire

Classical Concert:  Fancy Schmancy*

Rock Concert:  Not-trying-too-hard hip with comfy shoes you don't mind getting beer spilled on.

I'd say that's a pretty good primer.  Though given my advancing years, I probably will only be attending classical concerts from now on.

*Unless you're one of those uncultured philistines who thinks that jeans, a college sweatshirt, and a baseball cap are appropriate to wear to the opera.  Yes, I'm talking to you, half the guys at BYU who must have obviously confused the HFAC with Lavell Edwards Stadium and whom I obviously wasn't friends with because I'm a snob.