As I mentioned last weekend, Kate Nash was my first non-classical concert ever (unless you count Trans-Siberian Orchestra's Christmas concert in SLC in 2008 or this outdoor music festival with the Spin Doctors that I went to in the Spring of 2012--but those were different kinds of things, I think). I made some observations about the distinctions between the two types of events:
Punctuality
Classical Concert: Be there 30 minutes early. It's just good manners.
Rock Concert: If you walk in halfway through the opening act, nobody even cares.
Pre-Concert
Rock Concert: "Everybody make some noise!"
Classical Concert: "Please turn off all audio alerts on cell phones, pagers, watches, and small children."
Applause
Rock Concert: Everyone is basically cheering the entire time.
Classical Concert: If you clap during the set the conductor will shank you with the baton s/he hasn't put down yet, you filthy, uncultured, philistine. You should be ashamed of yourself.
Libation
Classical Concert: "Absolutely no food or drink in the auditorium (except for that cough drop which you should have opened before the music started)."
Rock Concert: I don't know whose beer that was, but now it's on my shoe.
Upper Respiratory Tract Phenomena
Classical Concert: If you cough, everyone will know, and they will hate you forever.
Rock Concert: You could probably die where you stood and nobody would notice.
Concert Attire
Classical Concert: Fancy Schmancy*
Rock Concert: Not-trying-too-hard hip with comfy shoes you don't mind getting beer spilled on.
I'd say that's a pretty good primer. Though given my advancing years, I probably will only be attending classical concerts from now on.
I'd say that's a pretty good primer. Though given my advancing years, I probably will only be attending classical concerts from now on.
*Unless you're one of those uncultured philistines who thinks that jeans, a college sweatshirt, and a baseball cap are appropriate to wear to the opera. Yes, I'm talking to you, half the guys at BYU who must have obviously confused the HFAC with Lavell Edwards Stadium and whom I obviously wasn't friends with because I'm a snob.
I went to many a concert at BYU dressed in...jeans and a sweatshirt. In my defense, it was cold in Utah. And the one opera I went to (Book of Gold, the worst opera of all time) was seriously so terrible that my jeans were a compliment to it. Whose idea was it to write an opera based on Joseph Smith's life????
ReplyDeleteHahaha! I saw that opera as well. I can't remember what I wore because all I remember was the opera being terrible.
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