Quarter

It's September 18th (well, at least it still is here).  I started my job on June 18th which means that I've been here for three months.  That's twenty-five percent of my time here.  I have nine months left.  I was going to make some comment about how if I got pregnant today, the baby would not be born in Hawaii, but then I remembered that they don't let you fly in your third trimester,* so I can't make that statement for another three months.

But still!  I'm one-fourth of the way closer to being somewhere that isn't here.  That's a good thing, because I think this is going to be the year that ages me.


*Unless you're Emilie de Ravin on LOST, which does take place in Hawaii after all.

Restaurant Revisit Review: Kahuku Grill

I learned a valuable lesson today:  when you go to a place where the burger is great, always get the burger.

I went to the Kahuku Grill for post-Temple lunch again today.  This time I got the "World Famous" Coconut-Macadamia Shrimp.  I will say that it was not bad; It was fine, actually, but I just didn't see what the fuss was all about.

For $12, you get five shrimp, a salad, a side of rice, and a little cup of sweet-chili sauce.  The value is good:  it's something that could definitely be shared between two people.  The salad was a little wilty, as are most leafy things that are served alongside hot things, and was topped with dried cranberries, crispy chow mein noodles, and some type of sweet-and-sour dressing.  The "lightly seasoned" rice was just sticky rice topped with the same slightly-too-salty seasoning that goes on the fries.  Now for the main course, the shrimp:  it was hot (deep-fried), crisp, and tasted very much like coconut.  I'm fine with coconut, but it overwhelmed the rest of the shrimp, so much so that if I had been blindfolded and they had told me it was chicken, I would have believed it.  The chili sauce added moisture and a tiny bit of spicy heat, but not much else.

Now I know that there are a lot of haters out there reading this and being like, "oh yeah?  could you have done it better?"  To them I say, "yes.  I could do it better, and here's how I would do it:"

Instead of deep-frying shrimp coated with coconut stuff, I would have pan-cooked the shrimp until they were slightly under-done, and then topped them with butter, brown sugar, coarsely-chopped macadamia nuts, coconut (reduced by about a third from Kahuku's formula), and a little bit of red chili flakes.  Then I would broil the whole thing for a couple minutes.  So there.  Hmm...I kind of want to try that at home sometime.

Don't worry, Kahuku Grill, just because I can make better Coco-Maca-Nut Shrimp than you can (in theory), I'll still come back to you.

I'll just always get the burger.

Sad Songs, They Say So Much

I haven't kept it a secret that Hawaii isn't my happiest place.  For various reasons that don't take years of psychological study to deconstruct, I spend a great deal of time being very sad.  I've gone through the stages of grief--replacing "acceptance" with the more pessimistic "resignation," of course--but grief is still there.  While any normal person would try to force themselves out of such a situation, look to the bright side, spank her Inner Moppet...whatever, I choose a different path:  I make a soundtrack.

A lot goes into putting together this kind of playlist, you know.  What actually constitutes a "sad song?"  Is it a song with a sad plot?  A threnody?  Is it a song that just reminds you of a really sad time in your life?  My operational definition is ineffable, it seems--Gestalt it is, then.  So here, for your listening pleasure, and in no particular order, I give you the eleven* saddest songs I can think of without spending an unreasonable amount of time on this.  (I chose to not include any tracks from operas or musicals, as that wouldn't be fair to any of the other genres.)

1. "Say Goodnight, Not Goodbye" (Beth Nielson Chapman) - I'll admit that the only place I've ever heard this song played is on "Dawson's Creek," but just try to listen to it without getting wistful.
2. "Last Request" (Paolo Nutini) - This song is probably technically about breakup sex; but breakups are sad, and this sadness is reflected in Paolo's voice.  Also, the version in the link is the only time where I was like, "okay, I can buy the fact that this guy is from Scotland."
3. "The Weakness in Me" (Joan Armatrading) - Ignore the thought of Heath Ledger stalking Julia Stiles as she pretends to play the guitar and listen to this sadness.  Also, this song is about infidelity, but she's clearly sad about it, so it's okay.
4. "Full of Grace" (Sarah McLachlan) - If I were actually ranking these, this might be the number one sad song.  It also took a lot of willpower not to make this a list of only Sarah McLachlan songs.  She pretty much is the master of songs to play on repeat whilst looking out the window and crying.  As such, here are her runners-up:  "Do What You Have To Do," "Good Enough," and "Wintersong."
5. "The Nicest Thing" (Kate Nash) - I love so many things about this:  the simplicity of the lyrics, the plaintive tone in Kate's voice, the strings.  Probably my favorite sad unrequited love song.
6. "Scientists" (Jeremy Messersmith) - This is one of those songs that's both inherently sad and sad because I relate to it so very much.  (Jeremy Messersmith runner-up:  "A Girl, a Boy, and a Graveyard")
7. "Falling" (The Civil Wars) - You all know how in love I've recently fallen with The Civil Wars.  Even if this song weren't about what it's about, it would still make you cry because it's that darn beautiful.  (Runner-up:  "Poison and Wine")
8. "You Don't Know Me" (Various Artists) - I had to include at least one of the standards on here!
9. "Delicate" (Damien Rice) - As extra-diegetic music goes, this one is a little over-used, but I feel that it's a good sad song.
10. "Lady" (Regina Spektor) - This song isn't particularly sad in the sense that it makes me want to cry, but I like everything that it does musically.  It's maybe the most threnodious song on my iTunes
11. "I Shall Believe" (Sheryl Crow) - Remember when Sheryl Crow was awesome?  You know, before she dated Lance Armstrong and before she turned into a pop star?  I like this ballad quite a bit.  

Don't get all worked up if your favorite "sad song" wasn't on this list or if your operational definition of "sad song" isn't the same as mine.  Again, there's too much complexity that you either have to exclude many things or include every thing, but if you have a suggestion, leave it in the comments.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go cry in a dark room while listening to all of these songs.


*Because I originally published it with ten and then thought of the eleventh one and felt too bad to bump any of the original ten.

More Things That Can Only Be Explained Through GIFs

My First Paycheck

My First Tax Payment

Why I Just Might Rock the GRE

I listen to lots of musical theatre soundtracks:

Chimerical:  C-H-I-M-E-R-I-C-A-L.  Wildly fanciful, highly unrealistic. 

 ("The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee)

I watch stupid teen movies:

DARCY:  Bring on the neophytes, the tyros, and the dilettantes.

("Bring It On")

I remember the dumb song sung to the tune of "Camptown Races" from that one really awful show on Nickelodeon called "Caitlin's Way":

"Area equals 'pi r-squared,' doo dah, doo dah!"

I was able to interpret the data on our electric bill and understand why the amount due was higher than last month even though we used less electricity this month.

I can deconstruct arguments on ridiculously drawn-out Facebook fights.

Who says studying can only be done with a Kaplan book?

Articles of (Internet) War

I'm a very non-confrontational person, in person, that is.  However, I've gotten more feisty in my old age, and for that reason, I'm thankful I have the internet as a medium for my argumentative nature.  As I've recently witnessed an epic one which addressed topics such as sexism, adultery, the great "letter of the law/spirit of the law" debate, and "the appearance of evil," I have found it necessary to put forth a code, a set of rules by which to angrily type.  For the approval of the people, I present, the Articles of Internet War:

1. Follow the proper procedure.  Don't just come in, guns blazing, and attack someone.  If there's a prompt (in most cases, the original post/article), respond to that first, and then wait until you're officially invited to the battle (usually, by someone saying, "you're incorrect for feeling that way, so-and-so").
2. Emoticons fix everything!  It's totally okay to call someone a Pharisee or a "self-hating misogynist" if you add a smiley face!
3. Don't infer beyond the text.*  If the person you're currently attacking hasn't actually called someone a "self-hating misogynist", don't be like, "you just called so-and-so a 'self-hating misogynist,'" because they didn't.  
4. When ambivalent, pick the side with the better grammar.  Sometimes, you just want to be a part of the fight, even if you don't care one way of the other.  It's much easier to create an argument when it's not based on run-on sentences interspersed with "tho," "prolly," and "idunno."
5. That said, don't play the grammar card until absolutely necessary.  It's a low blow and is often irrelevant to the argument.  Basically, when you reply, "yeah?  well, if your comment were a GRE analytical writing essay it would get a 2!", you're basically saying, "I've run out of further points to make."  
6. Find an ally.  It's awesome when you write something that makes an awesome point and then someone "likes" that point or responds with an "Amen, sista!  Preach it!"  Be that person for someone else, preferably someone who isn't already your friend, as it contributes to your objectivity.
7. When people start quoting scriptures or General Authorities, the gloves have officially come off.  This one's probably something that applies more to the Mormon crowd (so, 98% of my blog readers), I think, but when someone goes all, "well, here's something that someone said in General Conference once that supports my argument, so not only am I right, I'm more righteous than you, too!", the fighting has gone to a new level.  If scripture mastery wasn't your thing, tread lightly!
8. Don't fly off the handle.  Civility is of utmost importance.  You're not going to make a valid point if you call people stupid or use tons of profanity.  Even if your opponents don't come over to your (obviously correct) way of thinking, they can at least respect the fact that you kept a cool head and impeccable spelling throughout the argument.
9. Know when to hold 'em.  Have an awesome retort that you just have to use?  Let it simmer just a bit.  A more perfect opportunity may come along for it to make the maximum effect.
10. Know when to fold 'em.  Some people are stubborn and will never accept anything you say as legitimate.  Eventually, the thing is going to die down to the point where it'll just be two people still going at each other days later.  You don't want to be one of those two people, so know when to bow out gracefully.

That's all I've come up with so far.  I'm open to amendments, so please comment!  

*Also good advice for the GRE reading comprehension section.  I am so going to rock this test next week!

An (Unwarranted?) Explanation

"I have never found a companion that was so companionable as solitude"

(Henry David Thoreau)

I like to do things by myself.  I always have.  This doesn't mean I'm sad and lonely (probably), and it doesn't mean that I hate people (well...), but I just like having by-myself time.  This is especially true on the weekends.  I've gotten into the habit of occupying my Saturdays with a bus ride to some place where I would walk around and explore.  I told someone about one of these Saturdays recently, and the person got offended (or maybe fake offended--I don't know her well enough to determine if she has a sense of humor) that I didn't invite her to come with me!  So now I feel like I must explain myself (maybe) with three points:

1. I like to do things when I want to do them.  When I was faced with the response, "you should have invited me!" I wanted to say, "did you want to leave at 6:45 in the morning?"  Because I did.  And I didn't want to waste my morning waiting around for people who know how to sleep in to wake up and decide that they're ready to do stuff.
2. Related somewhat to point number one, I like doing things by myself without the stress of someone's wants and needs affecting my decision-making.  If I want to walk around a town square six times before deciding which restaurant will be providing my lunch that day (like I have), I don't want to worry about another person getting hungry and impatient.
3. In my life, there have been very few people with whom I could comfortably spend a whole day.  In fact, I can only immediately think of two, maybe three.  I've never been a "people person."  Conversing with people does not come easily to me, and I very much dislike feeling like I have to have a conversation when I would be perfectly at ease sitting silently with my thoughts.  

So, to all future people I with whom I don't hang out, it's nothing personal, and I don't necessarily dislike you; you just don't happen to be one of the three people I find more "companionable" than myself.