Reinvention

"I don't know who I am, who I am...All I know is that I should"
-Missy Higgins, "Where I Stood"

Ever since I got back to Boston, something has been off.  Don't get me wrong, being back has been 90% great* but there's been some off-ness.  I think I figured out what it is:  even though I can barely remember Hawaii, I was there, and I was there for a year.  Boston is different now, and the people there are kind of different.  (The social circles that existed when I was there over a year ago have dissolved, people have moved away, and new people have come in, leaving a completely new social structure that I have yet to fully understand.)  Most importantly though, I am different.**  So I need to reinvent.  Figure out how the new Alex fits into new Boston with new people.

As I mentioned a while ago, being in the different ward will help, once I get used to it (I started going to their Relief Society the last Sunday I was in Boston and felt oddly like a visitor).  Starting school again will certainly make a difference:  it will give me a reason to get up in the mornings with some sort of purpose.  And of course, what redefinition of self goes without a makeover?  Out of a combination of necessity and my mother's insistence that I currently do not look like a woman at all, I am changing my hair today, somewhat more drastically than I have in some time.  Also I finally took Laura's advice about skinny pants and found some that don't make me look terrible and fat.  Even so, some things are probably not going to change.

For one, new Alex still doesn't have a smart phone.

*Don't get me started on the 10%...I'm working on getting over it.
**Whether new Alex is better or worse than old Alex is still up for discussion.