I do think it's absolutely stupid for a man to ruin his coat to spare a woman from ruining her shoes. The fairer sex is not too delicate to step around a puddle. I do it all the time. However, I am a little sad that the days of honorable gentlemen are basically gone. And I'm a little sadder that we're getting used to it. Today, I was standing on the train, and a man asked me if I would like his seat. I was floored. In a year of Boston public transit, I've seen that happen fewer than five times. Seventy years ago, however, a man wouldn't think of sitting on the train while a woman was standing. I declined the seat, however, as I was getting off at the next station and soaking wet from walking a mile in the rain (seventy years ago, a man also might have shared his umbrella without fear of me thinking he was some type of offender).
Don't get me wrong, gender equality is a good thing: women should have the same opportunities in education, employment, and society as men; but what is so wrong with some good-old-fashioned chivalrous respect? I yearn for the days before men unapologetically swearing (and I'm well aware that many women have potty-mouths as well) and spitting (ick) when ladies were present.
I know all this is wishful thinking. I'd probably fall over and die if I ever saw men stand up when I walked into a room. If I could make one request to all the men in the world, I would really just request that they stop the spitting. Seriously, it's icky. As for the rest, I'll just have to live in my own fantasy world with the real man of my dreams:
Needless to say, if I were around, he would have removed his hat.
As a hardcore feminist, I still agree with you (and this semester I'm involved in some majorly feminist stuff at school and it's only made me more convinced that you are right and men need to be more chivalrous). Men need to show respect for women, and seriously, holding a door will not kill them. Although I did work with a Southern Gentleman this summer who held open every door no matter what, even when it was kind of awkward (like I got to the door first and I tried to open it), which was kind of annoying but was also really really nice. I have a bunch of theories on this topic that we should discuss.
ReplyDeleteAlso, we need to discuss James Stewart movies.
I always do find it a little awkward when a guy is holding a door for you but you're 20 feet away and have to run to the door, kind of defeating the purpose of his gentlemanly attempt to spare you any effort.
ReplyDeleteBut yes, we should discuss them (though for as big of a fan as I am, I haven't seen that many!).
Breaking blog silence to comment that I frequently saw this sort of chivalrous behavior on the commuter bus this summer from Provo to SLC. We almost always had 5-10 people standing in the aisle--but by the last stop in Orem, the men had always worked it out so that they were the ones standing. I saw a woman stand only once (in 9 weeks of taking the bus 4 times a week), and that was after she repeatedly declined the offers of the men around her.
ReplyDelete(Chivalry lives: in Utah County? I suppose it makes up for the rest of the latent sexism around here... But I thought it was sweet.)