This I Know

The past few months have been plagued with uncertainty.  Open doors.  Balls in the air that have yet to land.  Too many things that are "too soon to tell."  I haven't liked it.  I like to know things.  As therapy for me (and little else, as this would be very boring for you), I am writing down some of the things I do know.

I am not moving out of my apartment next Fall.

My qualifying exam proposal is about hallux valgus.  It's boring, but there it is.

I will be going home to visit my family sometime in July.

Now that I've written that all down, it really doesn't sound like I know a whole lot, now does it?

Just Breathe

I am getting into a bad habit of only blogging once a month.  I mostly haven't blogged this month because I've been very stressed out about a lot of things.  So today I'm going to blog about the things that are stressing me out.  In other words, today I'm going to blog about grad school.

I'm at a very frustrating point in my academic career in that much of what I have to do depends on feedback and oversight from other people.  And lately, a lot of this feedback and oversight has been either too little or too late.  And while some other person would take this "lull" as a welcome break from the fast-paced world of constant writing and deadlines, I loathe it.  I hate waiting and sitting on my hands and not knowing what I need to do or how to do things.  For instance, I have to rewrite a proposal, yet I haven't gotten any specific guidance on what I need to rewrite.  So I'm writing blindly, just for the sake of writing and having something to do, with no idea whether what I'm writing is good enough.  I'm rewriting and resubmitting a different proposal (my grant from this summer), and that's almost done, but there the frustration lies in knowing that after I resubmit, there will still be months of waiting.  And then there are other people.  Other people that often exist as little more than email addresses that will, hopefully by some miracle, show up in your inbox any day now.

And then there's the weather.  The sun is fleeting and warmth is something I've given up on.  The entire city is a filthy puddle of mud and I can't imagine that it will get better anytime soon.

I know that in a month, and certainly by next fall, things will be easier and better and will feel more productive, but right now it sucks.

So I keep breathing.  And keep writing.

Boring Life-Update Post - February 2015

Because I haven't blogged in three-ish weeks, I am making my internet presence known with a post about the boring stuff I've been up to lately.

An update from my last post:  I got my computer back.  They fixed the apparent viruses that were making it blue-screen, but there's still a problem with the update manager and therefore I need to back up everything and take it back to them so they can restore it to factory default settings.  But I've been putting that off because 1) I'm afraid I will screw up backing up my computer and I'll lose everything, and 2) I don't want to deal with putting everything back on my computer because I'll probably screw that up too.  I'll get to it eventually.  Maybe after quals.

Speaking of quals, I managed to get my Specific Aims turned in and they were approved.  Now I have to write the research strategy which is a brilliant work of copying and pasting stuff from my last grant.  I will be happy when it is over.

Speaking of things that are over, I finished data collection for my project this week!  No more looking at videos of people's knees for me...until the reliability analysis.

In other news, Boston got a ton of snow in the last week.  There was one day that nobody was allowed to go anywhere (which was miserable), and two days that I had classes canceled.  When it hasn't been snowing, it has been spectacularly cold.  Today is a spectacularly cold day, which is part of why I'm at home blogging rather than outside of my house.

This is how cold it is.

When I haven't been doing schoolwork, I have been occupying my snow days watching reruns of Parks and Rec (which I'd only somewhat watched before but is quite hilarious, in case anyone isn't on the bandwagon), re-reading the Harry Potter series (I'm almost done with Year 4 right now), and obsessing over "The Great British Baking Show" (you won't believe how intense watching people look at ovens can be).

I have some other things that are bubbling in my life, but they're not quite blogable yet.  Stay tuned!

Alexandra and the Terrible, Horrible, No-Good, Very Bad Past Two Days

What a past two days it has been!  Like seriously.  It all started yesterday morning when I woke up to the Blue Screen of Death on my computer.  Because, you know, that's exactly what you want a week and a half before your first page of qualifying exams is due.

I took the computer to the BU IT place where hopefully they will fix it and nothing will be wrong with it and it'll last me at least until the statistical computing class I'm taking this semester ends.  But until probably one more business day is over, I am without a computer (I am currently writing this at the medical school library, because blogging is totally what medical school library computers are for).

I called the BU IT place this morning to see if it was ready yet, and it was not.  So since I didn't need to be on campus today until noon, I decided to take a leisurely morning off and read Harry Potter until it was time to go to school.  From my bedroom (which is right next to the bathroom--very convenient for middle-of-the-night potty breaks), I heard water running.  Strange, I thought, I didn't know my roommate was up and in the shower already.  I poked my head out, and nobody was in there.  What was in there, however, was a steady stream of water coming from the ceiling.  And that turned into an even steadier deluge of water pouring out of the light fixture.

It's happened to the best of us.

I am nothing if not a quick thinker in a crisis.  I ripped the garbage bag out of our garbage can and placed the can under where the majority of the water was flowing.  I tried to call the management office, but I can't make a phone call on my stupid-smartphone without getting the "Unfortunately Contacts has stopped" message at least three times.  No time for that!  I ran to the management office without even bothering to put on a coat (it wasn't actually that cold out) and told them what the problem was.  Then I ran upstairs and told upstairs neighbor to stop whatever the heck he was doing with water.  (Did I mention that upstairs neighbor is the cause of so much grief in the form of interrupted sleep in my life already?)  Turned out, his toilet was overflowing for no apparent reason.  He showed me a video he took of the overflowing toilet on his phone.  I'm sorry, but if water is pouring onto my floor and flowing through to the humans below, my first thought isn't going to be, I definitely think I should video this rather than getting some towels and trying to stop the mess from progressing.  Even more annoying than those moms who post pictures of the poop their babies smeared all over themselves and the wall.

Eventually the water stopped and the ceiling stream slowed to a mere trickle.  After a brief lamentation of why do these things always happen when I'm here?, I took off my socks, emptied the trash can (that had at least two gallons of water in it) opened the window, got out the spray bleach, and got to work.  I mopped the grossness off of the floor, dried the walls, and wrung out the bathmat (and left a note that will hopefully persuade my roommates to throw it in the washer since I've wasted at least $6 already washing the thing in the past).  Then a plumber came and helped me empty out the glass globe light fixture that was full of brownish (he assured me the color was from ceiling dirt and I really want to believe him) water.  A drain guy came and dealt with the upstairs toilet.  I then got out the spray bleach again and re-mopped the floor because the plumber didn't take his shoes off.  I think all is well in my bathroom once more.

Thinking about it later, though, I got this thought process that made me feel (a little) better about the whole ordeal.  If my computer hadn't Blue-Screened yesterday, I wouldn't have had to take it to the IT place, which means that I probably would have gone to school with it early this morning, which means that nobody (save a sleeping roommate on the other end of the apartment who also probably doesn't know where the spray bleach lives) would have been home when the Great Flood of 2015 happened and it would have been way worse (see above, re: "at least two gallons of water).  So...Providence?

The 10 Dates of 2014

I go on too many dates.

Almost a year ago, I blogged my goals for 2014.  The only resolution I really followed through on was #4:  to average at least one date a month.  I actually went on over 12 dates--or things that could be considered dates if you're really open minded (actually, like a million, if you count "Speed Mingling"), but with probably 10 different men.  Here are the chronicles of those dates, using aliases to protect the innocent.  (Also, if we went on a date this year and I forgot about you, well, I'm sorry, but you should have made a better impression.)

January
The Ex:  Remember all of those seasons of Friends when Ross and Rachel weren't dating and they hung out all the time and it was fine?  My most-recent-at-that-point ex-boyfriend and I tried that by going on a romantic starlit dinner cruise (it was his work party; I was his plus-one).  It was fun and not too awkward, all things considered.  This ex and I are probably on good ex terms now, in that we don't actually ever see each other but when we do, it's just fine.

No, really.

February
The Now-Married Guy:  Mind you, this church-acquaintance was not married when we went on our sort-of-date to a fried chicken place that is right next to my gym.  This one truly met my goal for this dating project--to sit across a table from a guy I didn't know super well for an hour and make conversation. It was good conversation--we mostly talked about weird things we'd eaten--he'd eaten way weirder things than I had.  Anyway, as I said, he got married recently* to a really awesome woman, which is cool because it is always good when cool people marry each other.

April
The Lawyer:  I had tickets to see Legally Blonde: The Musical at Berklee College of Music, and, as having tickets for stuff is the best way to ask someone out, I took the opportunity to invite the most appropriate date to such a musical--a lawyer friend of mine who lived in my old neighborhood.  I think he probably liked the show even though the law stuff was probably all wrong.

May
The Most Interesting Man in the World:  In April I threw a dinner party and it resulted in me getting invited on dates by every man at that dinner party.  The first date was a performance by the Alvin Ailey Dance Company.  It was an amazing performance.  Now, the guy...as he was telling me about his life and occupation, I kept thinking, how are you a person I know in real life?  I probably couldn't tell you what his actual job is, but his stories were fascinating and very different from my stories, most of which revolve around my very boring grad school life.

The Going-Away Date:  I actually owed this guy a date from a time when he asked me out two years ago when I already had a boyfriend.**  So before he moved away forever, we had a really fun Boston date wherein we went to Quincy Market and took a water taxi around Boston Harbor.  Then we sneaked into a high school prom and got mistaken for people who sell drugs to teenagers, which, if you've seen either of us, is kind of hilarious.  Good times.

June
The One Who Turned into a Boyfriend for a Little While:  Truth be told, the first date with this guy wasn't the most amazing date ever.  It was dinner and walking around Boston, but nothing spectacular.  I didn't give up on him, though, because, for one thing, he was an accountant, and isn't that the type of guy that women are all supposed to end up with?  It actually took a decent amount of time (note the multiple other dates in June) and tedious flirting for us to actually become a Thing, but eventually it turned into a pretty cool thing.  Of course, whenever I have a boyfriend that I really like, one of us has to move thousands of miles away for work, so it was a very short-lived pretty cool thing, but I'm okay.

The Home Teacher:  My awesome home teacher (who also had to move thousands of miles away...stupid Southern California taking all of my people) gave me a ride from the airport one night, and to thank him, I took him to the Jeremy Messersmith concert.  He really liked it, which is important because it stresses me out when I introduce my friends to my favorite things.  Also, he's one of those really outgoing people, and because of him we got to chat with Jeremy and his guitarist!

The Brother of the Groom:  In June I went to the wedding of my very good friend.  At the wedding, I met his younger brother, who was really cool, and who also happened to have nothing to do the next day, so he invited me to go kayaking and eat pizza afterwards.  It was a very fun day.  Although this guy also lives thousands of miles away (what is my problem?) and is probably too young for me, I decided that if we had ever gotten together, our "how we met" story would have been the best sitcom ever, albeit one that got canceled after a half a season because that's what happens to all of the good sitcoms (#saveSelfie).

October***
The Only Man in the World Who Appreciates Men Dressed Like Elderly Women as Much as I Do:  I went to a Golden Girls Drag Show with my friend.  It was rad.  Enough said.

November
The One for Whom I Can't Think of a Good Alias Because I Know That He's Probably the Only One Mentioned Who Will Actually Read This Post:  I went to one fantastic and one just-okay theatrical production with this person, and both times we ate delicious burgers beforehand.  He is awesome and tall and nice-smelling and all sorts of other flattering adjectives that he will read when he reads this.

I hope people don't see this blog post as me being, "hey everyone, look at how many dates I went on this year because I'm so pretty and awesome!"  If you do think that, I'll remind you that I currently have zero boyfriends.  Also, most of these were friend-dates with little-to-no romantic expectations.  Also, I think 2014 was a fluke year and I do not expect as much dating "success" in 2015 (because I'm kind of crabby...and also quals).  This was just my following up on a goal to become better at social interaction, and I think I did okay.



*We're Mormons; we get married quickly; it's fine.
**I almost said "yes" when he asked me out.  I still tell this story as an example of why it's important to use the word "date" when you're asking someone on a date...because otherwise you could just be going to a thing together.
***Lest you think I was having a "dry spell," remember that there was "steady dating" in there...like the kind of stuff you're not allowed to do until you're sixteen.

CY2014 Wrap-Up

Happy New Year, Little Osteophytes!*  I'm not going to a huge "year in review" like I've done in previous years, but I thought I should at least update you on my Goals for 2014.
The goals:

1. I did not attend my high school reunion because 1) I realized that I have unrealistic expectations for reunions because of years of watching TV and movies, 2) the reunion was held the weekend after Labor Day weekend and it didn't make sense buying a plane ticket for such a short time, especially when 3) I didn't actually like high school all that much.
2. I did avoid Facebook for a short time in the summer when a lot of people were being jerks about stuff.  I also did some liberal un-following.
3. If by "go to California" you mean "win a research award that will fund a trip to a meeting in California in 2015," then Check.  (Notice how I inserted a brag about how I won a research award in there?)
4. My 12 Dates/Year quota was the only one I actually did well.  Stay tuned for a post (that I've already drafted) all about how I was a dating fiend in 2014.
5. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.  I was probably high on Diet Coke when I came up with the crazy idea that I would ever stop drinking Diet Coke.
6. I had one fancy dinner party in 2014.  But it was pretty rad and also partly responsible for much of my 2014 dating success.  Dinner parties are tricky though, when one has roommates one feels obligated to invite and wants to make an even table without making it seem like an awkward apartment date.  

I don't think there is anything super cool that happened in 2014 that I have not already blogged about, so here are some goals for 2015:

1. Pass my qualifying exams.
2. Come up with one realistic and one silly backup plan for if I do not pass my qualifying exams.
3. Regain my self-confidence and learn to drive before my PA State ID expires in July.
4. Be legitimately okay about turning 30, regardless of the status of my uterus.  Also start wearing neck cream when I turn 30.
5. Eat more fresh fruits and vegetables and go to the gym at least one time per week and take a vitamin every day and drink lots of water.**
6. Throw some fancy dinner parties.

Be happy and safe, everyone.



*Lady Gaga has Monsters, I have Osteophytes...unless someone can think of a better name for all of my adoring fans.
**I realize that this is four goals in one, but "maintain a healthy lifestyle" was too non-specific.

You're Never Fully Dressed Without a Vest

Whenever I'm home, I go through old photos from my childhood and I found a bunch from my tween-teen years in which I was experimenting with some interesting fashion choices.  Shortly afterwards I watched an old Garth and Kat sketch on SNL, and I realized I may have been more of a trendsetter than I thought as a kid, because far before the Wiig-Armisen era, I was rocking the dorky vest.

Wannabes.

Here are some highlights:

This was a pretty benign one that my mom made.  Note how studious it made me look.  Also note my pixie cut, inspired by Halle Berry (however Halle Berry probably never got mistaken for a boy at the 5th grade Halloween Party).

This was just me dressed up for a normal day at church, as far as I know, and not a "Relief Society Presidents of History" costume contest.  I still have the necklace.

This was high school.  I can tell because of the retainer and because I have two distinguishable eyebrows.  My mom made this vest because it was the early 2000's and Asian-inspired things were very in style.

This was one of my more unfortunate hairstyles.  But I think I pulled off the turtleneck-tucked-into-belted-jeans look quite nicely, if I do say so myself.

I was really obsessed with "Goosebumps" books, so when I saw this fabric at the fabric store, I was like, "Mom, you clearly must make me a vest."  Note how my belt matches my shirt, and note my awesome thumb-in-my-belt pose.  Also I think I made this necklace.  Also I'm sure I went to school in this outfit.  None of the other kids were as fashion-forward as I was, and therefore were too intimidated to ever hang out with me.  One time they even put me in a locker as to not be blinded by my stylishness.

I saved the best for last (or vest for last-ha!).  This was also in middle school when Old Navy Performance Fleece was a thing.  We must have been really poor when I was growing up because apparently Old Navy was too expensive for us and my mom bought me this knockoff at Sam's Club.  Discount substitutes notwithstanding, I knew how to be cool.

Is it weird that this reminds me of Anthony Michael Hall in "Sixteen Candles"?

So, Fred, Kirsten, just know that I'm onto you for stealing my look.  It's totally okay, I won't sue or anything, but if you would like to send me thank-you notes or cash or something, that would be cool.