Newton's Principle of Indecision

I should probably not be allowed to be in charge of things.

I went to Newton Centre today, which isn't inherently traumatic. It's a pretty cool place full of restaurants and boutiques for clothing and jewelry I will never be able to afford. I went into this one "consignment shop" thinking that consignment=cheap. Not so. There was this super beautiful silk dress in one of my favorite shades of blue; it had sleeves, went down past the knee, and had a really pretty embellishment thing on it...for only $158. As I was gawking over it, the lady asked me if I wanted to try it on, and after I told her it was out of my price range, she said it was on sale...only $98. That's still too expensive (even though it fits my rule that if I'm going to spend over $50 on an article of clothing I should be able to wear that and absolutely nothing else and still be able to go out in public), but I knew if I didn't try it on, I'd spend the rest of the day thinking about it. Thankfully it didn't fit me properly, so I could let it rest in peace.

The "trauma" began when I decided I was a little peckish and wanted a snack. There are a lot of restaurants in Newton Centre, seriously, a lot. I can't just pick the first place I see, so I wandered around the entire town (after wandering around once already) looking for a place that looked good. After wandering for about 45 minutes, I still hadn't decided, and by that point, I went from "a little peckish" to legitimately hungry. Of course, that required an entire paradigm shift: I was no longer looking for a snack, but for actual food. I wandered for another 20-ish minutes. There was a diner attached to the train station, but it wasn't what I imagined and was a little too saloon-like for me. There was a place called "Cafe St. Petersburg" but I felt that I would feel out of place at a restaurant that had six middle-aged women shouting at each other in Russian sitting on the patio. There were a bunch of sit-down places, but I wasn't in the mood to wait for waiters. At this point, I was very glad I was alone, as any traveling companions would have been quite impatient with me (but then again, they probably would have picked a place in five minutes).

I ended up eating at an itty-bitty place called "Lee's Burgers." The name is pretty funny if you're a biological anthropologist (there's a guy named Lee Berger who published Australopithecus sediba recently...I mean, I'm pretty sure the restaurant was just named after some other "Lee," but I appreciated it). The burger was decent, the onion rings were good (they were served with this sauce that was almost like fry sauce sans ketchup), and best of all, it was cheap.

Anyway, the point of this post is that even though I'm okay with deciding things about my life, when it comes to food, I have the absolute worst decision-making skills ever. I hope this will change before I have dependent children to feed. Frankly, I'm glad I'm not a guy, because if I were, I'd probably never be able to plan a dinner date.

Also, I feel I should mention that I was really sneezy today (I hate springtime) and took a behind-the-counter antihistamine/nasal decongestant and washed it down with a caffeinated Diet Coke, and now I'm a little wired. I may go take on the universe right now.

Spiritual Tornadoes

For those who don't know, Massachusetts has had some pretty intense weather today. Thankfully, Boston only got some severe thunderstorms, but the western and central parts of the state got hit pretty heavily by tornadoes. My thoughts and prayers go out to those who lost their homes and loved ones in these storms.

This morning in Charlestown, we had a 15-minute thunderstorm, and I thought that would be it for the day. As I walked home from work in the early afternoon, it was sunny and gorgeous. You can imagine my surprise when I turned on the TV and saw that the National Weather Service had issued a "Tornado Watch" for Boston and surrounding areas. I thought, "that's not possible; it's so nice outside!" Later, watching the weather, and seeing that the storm was more imminent, I thought, "I've dealt with much worse storms than this in Pennsylvania; I can handle it." Then, later in the evening, I rode away from Institute in a torrential downpour and the flashiest display of lightning I've ever seen.

[When I'm a General Church Auxiliary Leader and tell this story in General Conference, I'll have to embellish and include something about how when I finally thought to get my potted plants off of the balcony, it was too late and they had been pummelled by golf-ball-sized hailstones.]

The Gospel connections are all too clear. I'm grateful we have Latter Day Prophets who receive revelations from a Heavenly Father who can see the end from the beginning. We may receive warnings about spiritual storms and think, "that couldn't possibly happen, life is so great right now," or "It won't be so bad; I can handle it!" Prophets give us counsel for a reason: to protect us and keep us out of spiritual (and often temporal) danger. We may think that they cannot relate to us--they're from "a different generation"--but these leaders are inspired and are speaking for Someone who, without any doubt, can relate to exactly what we're experiencing.

With that, I'll leave the text from a piece I sang a few years ago in Concert Choir, a text that I've thought quite a bit about in light of the weather:

"After the Rain" (by Lane Johnson)

"Darkness expelled by a Light through the clouds
Heaven compelled to dissolve lightless shrouds
Tears dried by Son Light no longer remain
After the rain

"Storms overhead no more darken the way
Shadows have ceased to bedim the noon-day
Then brilliant beams of hope are born and brightness regained
After the rain

"Oh how the cloudburst and tempest refine
As we allow light to encompass and shine
Freely the soul sings for respite attained
After the blessed rain"

Memorial Day Adventure

Happy (belated) Memorial Day! And what a day it was, a day full of adventure. It was like one of those movies where the main character has to machete her way through the jungle, climb through things, and be in the presence of fire. Seriously.

So my roommate Chris and I cleaned our patio in preparation for a Family Home Evening party. After a whole winter full of blizzards, it was no small task. Lots of scrubbing and sweeping. We took a little break from the scrubbing and sweeping to go to the Home Depot and buy plants. Chris bought flowers that require low light, and I bought a tomato plant and a pot of basil. My goal is to not kill them.

Once we planted the things, I decided it was a good time to unplant other things. There's a lot of English Ivy and some other type of viny thing in the backyard, but it turned out that there was also a brick path under all of the ivy. So I got out my amazing Swedish sharp scissors and chopped a tall kitchen bagful out of the way. I sort of felt like the girl in The Secret Garden.

Then Chris got us locked out of the house. Unfortunately there's no way to escape from our house using the fire escape, which means there's no way to get in, so we had to sneak in through Chris's bedroom window...and by "we," I mean "I." One of the many disadvantages to being travel-sized. There was no non-awkward way to get in there, and Chris isn't so good at the whole "boost" concept (at one point she was just pushing me into the side of the house), so now I have some bruises and sore muscles in the shorts area.

Finally, after much showering and some final tidying, we threw the partay. It was pretty awesome. There were lots of people and lots of foodstuffs that were grilled (hence the fire). Stay tuned for tales of more awesome parties to come.

In other news, I just killed a giant mosquito in my living room.

My Shoe "Trauma"

Despite my having two X-chromosomes and a fully-functional set of ovaries, I hate shoe shopping. I think it's the most frustrating thing in the world, which is probably why I've had the same pair of black dress shoes for five years. This is what they looked like when I first bought them:
Sadly, they no longer look like this. The stuff is coming off the heel, and the sole is super thin. Unfortunately, Sears has discontinued the Apostrophe Marcella Heel in black. I looked at several department and shoe stores, frustration growing as I tried to explain, "All I want is a black heel with a strap!!!!!" No success--the women kept trying to sell me peep-toes and slutty patent-leather platforms (hello? I'm wearing these to church, not confession!); however, my hopes were piqued when I found these online:


I was very excited that I could buy almost the same shoe (the same brand, at the very least), and then they came in the mail today. The Apostrophe Marianne Mary-Janes are not the same! The heel is lower, the toe is rounder, the leather is duller...none of this would be a huge problem had the shoes not arrived looking like somebody had already worn them. So they're going back. My life is so hard.

Dear Sears, let this be the one redeeming thing you do to me after years of crappy customer service experiences in your store. If you bring back these shoes, I'll seriously buy three pairs.

Master of Science

I graduated today! I can attach M.S. after my name in all things now, though I'm still extremely inspired to get a PhD, if for nothing else but the hats. My mom said PhD regalia reminds her of Hogwarts.

Anyway, I was selected as one of the student speakers for graduation, and for those who weren't there, this is what I said:

"Good morning. I am honored to represent the first graduating class of the Boston University School of Medicine Program in Forensic Anthropology today. For the past two years, my classmates and I have had to figure out how to explain just what it is we do. The simplest definition of "forensic anthropology" I can offer is "the study of skeletal remains in a legal context." Comprehensive training in forensic anthropology exposes the student to skeletons, clandestine graves, and other things too ghastly and horrific to mention here...such as the Master's thesis. That said, I'll admit it was a challenge finding something from within my studies to relate to the future in order to provide an inspirational graduation message.

"In forensic anthropology (and forensic science in general), we learn about the importance of a multidisciplinary approach: one person's expertise is usually not enough. As scientists in a relatively specialized field, we must learn to rely on the strengths and training of others to provide us with all the evidence we need. Essentially, it takes a village to complete a case. This is something I've learned to apply as a student and as a member of the academic community. I am grateful for the academic environment at the Boston University School of Medicine, which exposes its students to vast resources, multiple specialties, and caring faculty and staff. We have never had to go through our journey alone. To all of the faculty members in the Forensic Anthropology Program, I thank you for your direction and your confidence; to my friends and classmates, I am grateful for the laughs and commiseration we've shared, and for the support you've provided these past two years.

"Though at school I put on the airs of a dyed-in-the-wool scientist, I have a confession to make: I love musical theatre. In the Broadway musical Wicked, Galinda the Good Witch observes, "There are bridges you cross you didn't know you've crossed until you've crossed ("Thank Goodness," lyrics by Stephen Schwartz). For most of us, we saw our Masters' programs as bridges: the two or three years spent between our undergraduate educations and the rest of our academic and professional lives. It's easy to get lost in the minutiae of coursework, exams, projects, and thesis writing as we trudge forward toward graduation and our future plans, but I encourage all of you, when you have a moment to breathe, to reflect on the past years. Try to remember what you knew (or didn't know) before you came here. In the eternal scheme of things, our time as Masters' students is but a small moment, but the effect of this time on us is staggering. When we look back, it is amazing to see how far we've come. Let us never forget to appreciate in this short time all that we have done, all that we have learned, and most importantly, all that we have become.

"As we stand at the juncture between the bridges that were our Masters' programs and the road ahead, I'd like to offer one last piece of advice gleaned from my forensic anthropology coursework: learn to adjust your strategy. As anthropologists in the field, we make neat and organized plans for a systematic search and excavation effort, but the world is messy, and more often than not, human or environmental factors force us to reevaluate the scene and adapt to a situation that is far from our ideal. The same applies to our lives: what we have planned for ourselves isn't always what the future has in store for us. Sometimes when we're reaching for what we want (or what we think we want), we fall, but where we land might not be so bad, and when we get back up, we may find that our "backup plan" is really what makes us happiest. Instead of stubbornly fighting against fate for what we thought we wanted, we can be flexible and let the road take us somewhere even better. Wherever your paths lead you, I wish you luck, hope, and good sense. Congratulations, Class of 2011!"

I pretty much gave the best speech ever, even the Dean was jealous.

Culinary Creations

So sometimes I'm pretty awesome in the kitchen. This is a picture of the lemon-raspberry cake I made at Easter time.


And then sometimes I bribe my ward choir with muffins, but instead of making a dozen blueberry muffins from a box like a normal person, I go crazy and make six dozen in three varieties: blueberry lemon, strawberry banana, and regular banana (I got so many bananas at Haymarket for a dollar, guys). Anyway, here's a picture of the muffins, to fully illustrate the plethora of muffins that happened today. Ignore the mess of mail on my table.

More Reasons I'm Morbid

Since school is basically over, I hopped over to the Charlestown branch of the Boston Public Library to check out some books for "light reading." Here's what I walked out with:

1. The Lazarus Syndrome: Burial Alive and Other Horrors of the Undead
2. Among the Cannibals: Adventures on the trail of Man's Darkest Ritual
3. The Father of Forensics: The Groundbreaking Cases of Sir Bernard Spilsbury, and the Beginnings of Modern CSI
4. The Casebook of Forensic Detection
5. The Family That Couldn't Sleep: A Medical Mystery (It's about Familial Fatal Insomnia, a prion disease--related to Mad Cow--that basically means you can't sleep until you die)
6. Food for the Dead: On the Trail of New England's Vampires

Maybe I have issues. And I'm sure the skull sitting on the bookshelf in my dining room isn't helping my case at all. (It's not a real skull, it's plastic, and I got it for helping the anatomy department sort out real skulls. And since it's plastic, I'm allowed to name it. His--it's a male skull--name is David Duchovny.) I should just tell people I have a deep interest in "Anthropology of the Creepy."

But I'm not as "goth" as people apparently think. Why, just yesterday I bought a yellow shirt. Yellow is cheerful, right?